There is a danger in not expressing your feelings.
There is an even greater danger in not knowing what your feelings are.
Goucher College 1984-86 Catalog
Danger for me came in the form of addiction. I never learned to express my feelings when I was younger – it seemed that no one was listening. Instead they always seem to be telling me what I was doing wrong. So instead of expressing my feelings, I pushed them far down and numbed out with drugs. Drugs led to addiction and addiction led to many self-destructive behaviors, including almost dying from a near overdose.
I started 12 step recovery on February 6, 1991. But I was very broken and had a lot of stuff to work through. Now that the drugs were gone, anger seemed to be my constant companion.
As I sunk deeper and deeper, I started to tear up things – magazines, my wedding dress – and put them back together on canvas. When I got really angry, I would squeeze out big globs of red and black paint; pick up a big brush and attack the canvas with my fury and rage. I was creating, getting “IT” out, and feeling better.
I started to collect things: from the beach, antique stores, rusty objects on the street and adding them to my pieces. I was broken and wanted to be whole again – I didn’t want to be the trauma anymore. Slowly, I put myself back together by putting seemingly unrelated things together in my artwork.
I call this spontaneous collage© and look forward to teaching you this process to help you to heal, and strengthen and support your recovery.
***Robin, the Founder and Director of Recovery Art Studio™, offers art for healing workshops and speaks publicly about how she overcame domestic violence/sexual assault and addiction. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or (410) 610-6753 or PM her on FB.